Nice People Die: The Importance of Self-Care and Boundaries
By: Yssis Saadi El, MSW
When I mention the concept of "Nice People Die" (NPD), it often elicits a reaction akin to a deer caught in headlights – people are unsure how to respond. But for me, NPD serves as a wake-up call, a reminder of the importance of self-care. My intent is based on the hopes of invoking thought-provoking conversations about healing thyself.
In a world that often celebrates kindness and selflessness, it might seem counterintuitive to suggest that "nice people die." But the truth is, niceness alone isn't enough to ensure longevity and well-being. Those who constantly prioritize others over themselves, neglecting self-care and boundaries, may unwittingly put themselves at risk.
The metaphorical oxygen mask serves as a poignant reminder of this principle. In an airplane emergency, passengers are always instructed to secure their masks before assisting others. Why? Because without ensuring their survival first, they're unable to effectively help anyone else. This same principle applies to life beyond the aircraft cabin.
Nice people, with their compassionate hearts and generous spirits, often find themselves neglecting their needs in favor of others. They prioritize the comfort and happiness of those around them, sometimes at the expense of their well-being. They're the ones who instinctively offer help, lend a listening ear, and go above and beyond to support others, often without a second thought for themselves.
But herein lies the danger: when self-care takes a backseat, individuals become vulnerable to a myriad of physical, emotional, and mental health issues. Chronic stress, burnout, anxiety, and depression can creep in, gradually eroding the very foundation of their health and happiness. Nice people may find themselves depleted, running on empty, yet still pushing themselves to meet the needs of others.
Boundaries, or the lack thereof, play a significant role in this dynamic. Nice people often struggle to set and enforce boundaries, fearing that doing so may seem selfish or unkind. They bend over backward to accommodate the wishes and demands of others, even when it means sacrificing their own needs, time, and energy.
But boundaries are not barriers; they're essential safeguards that protect our well-being and preserve our sense of self. Establishing healthy boundaries isn't about shutting people out or being unkind; it's about honoring our own limits and ensuring that our needs are met. It's about recognizing that saying "No" when necessary isn't a sign of weakness but rather an act of self-respect and self-preservation. Perhaps you may need to put a little spice on it with a "Hell No" for those resistant to subtleties.
So how do we break this cycle of self-neglect and boundary neglect? It starts with a shift in mindset. Nice people must recognize that prioritizing self-care isn't selfish but necessary. Just as they would extend compassion and care to others, they must learn to extend the same kindness to themselves.
This means carving out time for activities that nourish their body, mind, and soul – whether it's exercise, meditation, hobbies, or simply taking a moment to breathe. It means learning to say "no" when their plate is full and respecting their limits.
And it means surrounding themselves with supportive individuals who value and respect their boundaries. In essence, nice people must learn to put their oxygen masks on first. By prioritizing self-care and setting healthy boundaries, they not only safeguard their well-being but also empower themselves to continue being the kind, compassionate souls that they are – for the long haul.
Remember, being nice shouldn't come at the cost of your health and happiness. It's time to rewrite the narrative and embrace a new mantra: Nice people don't die – they thrive, fueled by self-care and fortified by boundaries.
So let's prioritize ourselves, set those boundaries, and live our lives to the fullest – because when we take care of ourselves, we're better equipped to care for others too.
Comments